The return to Chiusi by cab felt so different to the one leaving for Montepulciano 23 days before. My ability and confidence with my still very limited Italian seemed to reach new heights and chatting to the driver it didn't seem to matter that  making the  basic errors was such a big deal. There were fewer hesitations this time but  what the heck....people here are gracious and are delighted that 'gli stranieri' really want to be able to  connect....and having one's ego pampered by being told how magnificently you speak is a delight (even though it really isn't true). The challenge of return was to hold onto the very positive support that automatically came when people around could see that you took your studies and not yourself too seriously. Making mistakes are  necessary in order to do it right.
The train back to Rome was fairly full and a  guy around 25 yrs had no hesitation in helping me to board with my bags. lt was a still a struggle  and  a young woman went out of her way similarly to help. Getting off at the other end these two emerged again to help me. l loved them!!
Back home, with grey skies and life inside the M25 (that massive traffic jam that circumscibes London),my time in Montepulciano quickly started to fade. As much as l tried to bring it to life
 all l could manage were a series of faded descriptions....its buzz was virtually inaudible and l was starting to lose my sparkle.
It was great to be home but the journey felt that it had only started. Retiring is about looking after myself and maybe finally growing (up),in a way l had never done before. This has 'of necessity'  given what l am like, of   taking advantage of Bev's ? limitless patience, as well as enjoying  that same (almost) limitless generosity.
In this l hoped  l had  changed for the better and that maybe was now content when being alone as well as being at greater ease  in the company of others.
 lf anything it has helped to confirm that the growing together is ultimately more fun than growing separately, B U T  Y OU  NEED  BOTH if you are really greedy and want to have your cake AND eat it .