BAGNO TURCO was the place where our true mettle could be tested. Now it was the time of our equivalent of the full monty.....not baring our all, but just showing our legs. All we had to wear were Giuseppe's lycra running shorts; well they looked great on him but he is a good 6 inches taller than me.They were a size larger on the waist too but after Danilo's gentle persuasions over our evening meals, they fitted  me perfectly. We each had a pair, and were not sharing  one ! However if we had been sharing l doubt that it would have had any impact, as a result of either the  Piramide Energetica or the Crom+++ dei  Cha++ fusing the switch boards inside those fluffy white dressing gowns.
No one batted an eye lid as we covered our heads with the clear polythene caps and sat around  being splashed by water and steam. Everyone was disarmingly friendly ; there was no hierarchy ;...no one  was 'beautiful'. There were no side way glances and no sniggers....yes we all walked around with our clear head caps half filled with water, looking like a bunch of berks. We were graceless and common, and it was great. lt was starting to feel right again. Walking around looking as if you had a condom on your head half filled with a clear liquid felt  natural to me, as  if l was born like that. Can you believe  everyone at my kindergarden called me ' dickhead' ? l had thought they called me Deak Ed because l was dyslexic !! Bastards !!

A few moments later, as l opened the door to the next world, my anxiety and neurotic fears disappeared...l was back with my own kind ....l had entered the world of MELMARIUM CON ARGILLA DEPURATIVA.  I was hoping you would be impressed. I have not come across this much latin since l studied it 50 + years ago at Randwick Boy's High. In layman's language ( if you are a Prince of the Church then you should be able to work it out for yourself ) its a place where you dip your hand into a clay pot  containing a thick warm dark goo which you them smear on yourself or anyone else near who fancies a bit . l was amazed where it got to considering there was no rearranging of  swimwear.The next stage was to allow it to dry so that everyone looked like an extra from a horror movie with skin ressembling  the parched wastelands of Death Valley. Peer approval in the form of  rapid jerking heads of the new comers into the chamber seemed to excite bliss in the reclining disintegrating figures smeared with stuff that looked like but fortunately did not smell of dog poo. Conclusion : this place housed some seriously troubled people and this  treatment of "not dog poo" needed to be more of the real thing if they were going for broke and looking for  a  cure. Sometimes you just shouldn't settle for second best! After all this excitement and opportunity for self expression, there are showers whose fracking like powers  remove all this pretend crap off your skin so that you are returned to the world looking just how you did age age dot. You may not be born again, but you definitely smell of clean.
Giuseppe to give him his due, smeared some pretend dog crap on his chest....l have never see him look so  possessed;. It was now clear that he had lost his marbles and l had to get him out before he started eating the stuff.  Please don't think l'm exaggerating for there is a condition where people really do and its called coprophagia but this time there is no pretending!
There was one more chamber that was left on the list that would make coprophagia taste like the best   ice cream sundae ever on a hot day..(sorry about that but there are others things you can turn to as an alternative), and that was the Stanza del silenzio interiore.